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Chapter 1 Part 1
As I run through the forest, wind is blowing in my hair, and light shimmering off of my skin so it made my skin glow. I tried so hard to look happy, but that just made me unhappy the more I think about it. I do not dare to look around me, for I will see a nightmare that haunt my peoples dreams that are true, for my people are dieing in a meaningless war against the lions. For I am only a Fox, soon to be queen of Saint Land, my hometown where I was born to be in peace and giving land. But outside the towns walls, a war that we have been fighting before I was born, soon to be taken before my eyes in a few more weeks if this keeps up at this past. The sun says good by and leaves me in the dark alone with my people, I decide to call it a night, as I walk to are campsite to stay in the forest in the dark with my people. I transformed back to my body.
“ I am going to sleep in a few minutes or so”, I told to one of the guards that were in front of my tent. I was telling them about what will happen tomorrow. I helped pack up some of the wounded around the area. I walked past a young man that was not really hurt, but there was something wrong. His eyes where on the fire like they where telling him a story that he was so intestine in.
“ Is there something on your mind”, he turned around and just looked at me.
“ So I am guessing that is a yes”, he stopped looking at me and looked down at the ground. He did not talk.
“ Is that a no”, I was trying to find a why to make him smile. As I decided to call it a night, I walked to my tent when I was stopped by something. It was a sounded like someone in trouble, it sounded like a cry or more like a screech out for help. It sounded so sad and in pain, so I went to find this cry. I walked back to the forest to look around or to find this cry. As I got closer and closer, I think if it is a friend or foe. What is it’s a trap to kill me. What would I do? I looked behind a tree to find a man, my enemy on the ground crying out in pain. Then he saw me, his eyes got big as if he did not what to see me. He hesitated for a few minutes then came back, I looked away thinking if I should leave or not, but before I could do so he grabbing my arm to pull me closer, to say something. The guards ran to me, thinking that he was hurting or tiring to kill me. I looked at them to say that I was ok, but he cute me off and began to talk.
- by Airi_Chan1012 |
- Fiction
- | Submitted on 11/11/2008 |
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- Title: Life On The Battle Field
- Artist: Airi_Chan1012
- Description: This is the first story's I have started off with... and I think its good. Its about a war what going on between 2 towns. I can t tell you the rest you have to read it!!Plz let me know if you like the story or not I wish to inprove!!!
- Date: 11/11/2008
- Tags: life battle field
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Comments (6 Comments)
- Holy Misty13 - 11/10/2010
- Very nice wanna read more 4/5
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- Pumpkin Maximus - 10/06/2009
- Good story. Very captivating. 4/5
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- sammmiich - 08/23/2009
- ik ppl have already said this and it's probably getting on ur last nerve, but grammar! but it's still pretty darn cool 4/5
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- Jellybean Julie - 03/27/2009
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i agree with Robin Naira to many grammer mistakes
but still a guud story - Report As Spam
- Robin Naira - 12/09/2008
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Well, I like the story, but if you don't mind: You made an awful lot language mistakes. (I'm not going to correct them now, that would take too long, but if you really wish I might do it ^^).
Still I like it. And with 'transforming' you mean she can turn into a fox? - Report As Spam