• Random stuff happens for random reasons. Say... you find a peanut butter jar on the floor, and it ends up it got there because you saved a tribe of enslaved platypuses from an evil five-headed penguin king. Yeah, stuff like that. Well, this is the full story of how I did just that.
    Night hunger munched my stomach like a doggy on a three-foot long stick of bacon. I needed food! While thinking of mouth-watering snacks to gorge myself with I remembered the great taste of fresh peanut butter in my mouth. So I decided to stick a spoonful of some in my mouth.I looked at the clock.
    It read 1:58. I wearily dragged myself out of my bunk bed and stumbled my way past the living room and into the kitchen.
    Being alone at night always freaked me out so I tried to stay as quiet as possible. Someone left the peanut butter out on the counter, so I snatched it quickly; but then I let out a huge yawn. Then I could have sworn I saw a beaver jump off the refrigerator. After that I saw a duckbill poke out of the closet. Duck + beaver is... "Platypus!" I yelled after finishing the thought and one jumped on top of me.
    "Do not fear Chosen One. My name is Zomar," the platypus whispered to me.
    After that I passed out.
    When I woke up platypuses surrounded me. They were all staring at me with their funny, yet scary-looking eyes. They were muttering words like: it's him or we're free! I was about to pass out again when the platypus that jumped on me (who I guessed was Zomar) came.
    "Do not worry Corndog, I shall explain," Zomar said.
    "One, how do you know my name? Two, where am I?"
    "I can only tell you where we are. We're in a platypus-made tunnel under your house."
    Zomar then led me through a large tunnel.
    "Our tribe used to be a great people," Zomar started, "That was back when my father ruled. Then a stranger came from the south. He was a five-headed penguin who wished to rule us. My father told him he was the king. The penguin king took out a three-foot piece of spaghetti and whipped my father five times. He bled to death...."
    "Hold on!" I interrupted, "How can spaghetti pierce your skin?"
    Zomar then turned around revealing a large scar with a piece of bloody spaghetti on it.
    "Oh..."
    "As I was saying, on his dying breath my dad reminded me of The Prophecy. The Prophecy says that a villain from the south shall come and the fate of our people lies in the hands of some kid from San Antonio named Corndog."
    "How do you know it's me?" I asked.
    "Your name's Corndog, so you'll do."
    After ending our conversation we heard large, booming footsteps. "It's the penguin king!" Zomar whispered in fear. He then told me to hide. I crouched behind a rock.
    The penguin king was a five-headed emperor penguin with a crown on each head. His faces had frozen into a frown. I noticed that he had a belt with a three-foot piece of spaghetti tied to it. His extreme fatness was almost hypnotizing. He said in a large, gruff voice that sounded, well, fat, "Rest well, you worthless, egg-laying freaks. Tomorrow, we keep going!"
    He then stomped away. Each footstep was the equivalent of five adult ones. After he was out of sight, Zomar said, "It's safe to come out."
    After I emerged from the pale gray stone I asked, "What does he mean by "keep going"."
    "The Penguin King makes us travel north everyday through tunnels."
    "Why?"
    "My brother Alton heard him say something about "hiding from brethren"."
    "I see."
    "Now the prophecy must be fulfilled."
    I had forgotten about the prophecy. If I have to free platypuses from a ruthless penguin, I have to...
    "Kill the penguin," Zomar stated unexpectedly.
    "How did you..." I started.
    "We platypuses can read thoughts. Just like how buffaloes can fly and cows can breath fire."
    That explains Buffalo wings and burgers.
    "Yes," said Zomar.
    "Well," I started, "I got to go kill a penguin." "Wait!" exclaimed Zomar surrounded by his fellow platypuses, "Let us prepare you."
    The platypuses dressed me up in silver armor. I felt ridiculous, yet strong. I felt storngdiculous. By 3:00, I was a knight in shining armor.

    Zomar met with the Penguin King after he whipped an elderly Platypus. Zomar held a napkin to wipe the blood off the whip. As the two walked The Penguin King said, "I haven't whipped that hard since The First." Zomar mutely cursed. The Penguin King only called his first victim by his last two names.
    "My Lord," he started, "Someone wishes to challenge you."
    "Send him here," the King replied.
    As Zomar when to get me he thought, you will pay you fool. You will pay for insulting Zomar the First.

    Many platypuses watched as I approached the Penguin King. I was more scared than a cat dipped in chicken broth at a dog show.
    "A human?" the King gloated, "A human dares to challenge me?
    As he gloated I felt a large object in my left pocket. Right after he said, "That son of a..." I threw the peanut butter jar at his head. Zomar went to go check his king's pulse.
    "The Penguin King," he started, "is dead."
    A chorus of cheers followed this statement. I felt happy, but the trauma of killing the King made me go unconscious.

    I woke up at 6:00 AM. I stumbled to the kitchen to get some breakfast. As I trotted I thought I had the weirdest dream. Then I noticed something on the floor. Then I said, "Peanut butter."