• When I was young, say 5 years old, I lived with both my mother and father. That tells you I don't do that now. I live by myself since 2 years back.

    But also, my father left my mother and me when I was 5 years old. Or rather, we let him go, as my mother would have said, since he was only pulling us down. My mother could rebuild what she had lost by him and eventually things were looking good for us. Then she met this other man who never really liked me. He always lowered his voice to whispering when he talked with my mother, and I was close by. I didn't mind it until I got older. Because I started to think "Does he want to hide something from me?" So I eventually asked him, and he said "Kids should only mind kid business."

    That's what I did, but I couldn't ignore the fact that he thought I was listening to him when he whispered. That's kinda strange for an adult to do. In this case at least. I sometimes heard what he talked about, and I knew it wasn't something he needed to lower his voice for.

    So later, I found out by my mother he did it to actually make me feel outside of things. He wanted to put a line between me and my mother, he standing by her side. If I was adult back then, I would have accepted it because I wouldn't be as dependent of my mom, but I was like... 10? 12? And he tried to push me away from my mother, not just by the whispering act, but by other things, such as making me stay home when they went to places I usually followed to, locking the door to their bedroom when they were watching tv during evenings, and... yeah... other things I can't find words for.

    I think that has something to do with my aspergers... I got used to be away from people, not only by my most shallow feelings but deep inside aswell. That's why I'm so anti social. People can blame it on other things such as "You should have spent time with your friends then" but that'll start another discussion which will make them understand that it all leads to the same answer. It started by what I have told you. Since a mother is more important to you than your friends are, you just don't understand it until you get older.

    I'm glad I even found out I have aspergers, and that I understand what it is and how I can treat it. Others would just have kept wondering what the hell was wrong with them, still being misunderstood and disliked for their "different" behaviour.