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A search started, families torn, and a rivalry of different species has remerged after a cruel, harsh, and unbelievable crime had awoken a rivalry that has been asleep for 5 years. This is life, and this; is Narwhal News, with Kade Maijala.
Three pigs, Steve, Bill, and Tom had been in a rivalry with a wolf named Joseph. This rivalry had begun in preschool, when the three pigs had harshly attacked Joseph, they had pushed him to the ground and beat him with a red fire truck multiple times before being stopped by the teach, Mr. Roloff. Today, we have Mr. Roloff in a interview to talk about the cruel doing of the beginning of the rivalry.
“One day I was attending to my daily paper, when I had heard screaming, crying, and language that I cannot bear to speak of. I had put down my news paper to see three pigs brutally attacking a wolf. I had charged in and pushed them to the side, I may have pushed hard. Uhh… he kind of went through the wall.” Mr. Roloff scratched his head and proceeded “As I was saying I had gone into the brutal fight and broke it apart. I had questioned all four of them to see if any of the stories matched, only the pigs did. The wolf had apparently said that Steve’s square looked like a circle. And one thing led to another and that happened.” “Alright, thank you Mr. Roloff for sharing your part of the story with us, we will try to keep you up to date with Mr. Roloff today as we speak of the story.
As I was saying, today the rivalry had been awaken, for the three pigs had thrown a rock at the wolf, it appears that the rock had hit him in the nose, I’m not to sure on that yet, but that’s what I have heard so far. Then the pigs ran into their houses, as you can see there are the remainders of the house all around the ground behind me, hay and twigs. But beside me is a house made of bricks. Apparently after the rock was thrown the pigs ran into they’re houses. Bill went into the hay, Tom went into the twig, and Steve went into the brick. Apparently the wolf ran in and blew the hay and twig house down, then the pigs scurried into the brick house to hide. The wolf was not able to blow over the brick house for the stricter is to great. We have a interview with the wolf now, please listen.
“Those filthy slobs got what they had disserved, they have been tormenting me ever since preschool, I simply told myself that I will not stand her and take it any longer! As I blew down the first two houses, I was enraged and blinded with red fury. My nose dripping sticky red blood and my mouth howling as loud as it ever had. I could of blown down the second house, but I was just uhhh…. Umm…. Exhaling! Yeah that’s what it’s called! Exhaling, yeah.”
We had to cut out the rest of this video for it was to vivid for the young ears of America. Now we are starting a relief fund charity for the two pigs that have lost their houses, but Steve is gracious enough to let them stay in his house for a little until the relief charity kicks off. These two pigs left without a home, a wolf put in prison, questioning is still going trying to find out if there was any more back story to this crime. At this time we will interview Steve the pig, to hear his side of the story.
“Tom dared Bill to; I have nothing to do with this. I don’t even know why I am here. I mean like, seriously. What’s the point of this whole investigation if you’re just going to hear the same exact thing, blabbering on about how we’re sooooooooooo unfair to this apparently, “traumatized” Poor little wolf. Honestly, who cares. We’re pigs, we’re mean, we’re evil, and we’re bacon. That’s all we are. Oh and we’re cute on Christmas cards though!”
The rest of this video will not be shown for its just the same guy blabbering on about how its so unfair to be here and how he doesn’t care and how its ironic how he’s the only one to get blamed all the time and stuff that no one cares about like that.
Now, we’re going to be interviewing Tom the pig.
“I dared Bill to throw the rock at him, I admit it, I did. Do I care, yeah. I WANT MY MOMMY!”
The rest of this video, is just complete scraps that we are not getting information from.
Police are starting questioning for these pigs, and the wolf. They started yesterday and apparently have nothing yet today. All they have heard is, I didn’t do anything, I need help, where’s my mommy, who cares, and narwhals. The police are becoming frustrated because they cannot do anything until these pigs confess to something; until they do this investigation can not officially kick off. These pigs got to swine up to the crime before they get made into bacon. Now we have a interview with the chief of police,
“These pigs are not confessing anything, I cannot believe we are wasting our time on this while there are murders, robberies, bank hold ups and other things going on. We are stuck here talking about four kids that got into a fight with a red fire truck, I mean litterly; can we go and do something that really deserves to have a whole segment on the news for, pictures of puppies in the shelter are more interesting in this, I mean honestly. Come on people its not that hard to think of. They threw a rock, they got mad, they blew down a toy play house. Who cares!”
And now the police have shut down this topic. We will try our best to keep you up-to-date on this product. Thank you, stay in tune.
Kade Maijala with Narwhal News, out.
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Title:
News, Three Little Pigs
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Artist:
Akaaka-Kun
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Description:
Narwhal News, Three little pigs reported.
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Date:
06/07/2010
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Tags:
news
three
little
pigs
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