To My Love

• Artist: otakuskater
• Description: Way back in 3rd year of high school, September 1997, we were asked to composed a poem as one of the tasks for English subject. That time, we were studying all kinds of poems. I was one of the inspired ones to be able to create without effort and the earliest to submit. Unfortunately, I forgot the score I got.
  
  My description is too long that doesn't fit in. So I put the rest at the bottom of the poem.
• Date: 07/15/2008
• Tags: lovepoetry

To My Love,

How can I tell you what I feel?
You do not know yet what is inside me
I want you to know I love you still
All I can show you is what you could see
I am a shy person who stutters with words
What I did was wrote you a letter
Tied it to one of the birds
Patiently I waited for your answer
Still no response, I longed for you
I am glad when I passed you, you never dart
You are my inspiration, so I do what you do
I think of you, I feel the palpitation of my heart
Please love, tell me what you feel
So I could tell you I love you still




...I could not even remember if I received a passive one or higher than that.

I was inspired because I belong to a classroom which do not have security or sound proof walls so *sorry I'm such a braggart* whatever I recited in front of the whole class, it can be heard on the other side of the wall where the one I admired was. *I do not remember either if I got the standing ovation while my classmates clapped after hearing my recital.* Right after I made a final draft and made a transparent red cover, my teacher *I forgot who he is; he was a substitute teacher at that time because Teacher Ann is sick that day* practically posted it on the wall outside the classroom.

Then, after I got home, I wrote the poem at the back of my diary, thinking that one day, I will be able to use it. I guess, after I found out that there is a new contest in writing at Gaia arena, I have gotten the opportunity to submit my work once more. I hope you all judge my work; positive or negative does not matter to me as long as you will be honest with your opinions and advices.

Comments

[otakuskater]

Thank you very much for your comments. I am not really aspiring to become a writer though Writer's Workshop helped me get through with life. ^.^

[Archille]

you used alternation for the rhyming but it is much better if you did not do alternation

[Dragice Ryudo]

Apparently I'm too long winded.
Could use improvement but not bad.

[Miss Liza]

You need to work on flow and rhythm

[Fredella]

This is really good! ^^
it kind of remind me of the way I used to feel like when I still had this huge 'love' on my old (previous) crush

[photography_addiction]

Wow... that's all i can say... wow... You're good. =)