Burning Desperation

• Artist: Suprion
• Description: This is a small piece that I wrote, telling about the few people who are desperate to find a group that matches with their thinking.
• Date: 01/18/2009
• Tags: burning desperation perseverance superior

His ability is superior, and his thinking is logical.
In almost every way he excels, but some set him back.
His way of thinking is different, and no one else can understand him.
He cannot find any ideal partner who thinks the same as him. He is always forced to compromise.
No one ever listens to him, even when deep down his heart and blood, he knows his ideas are correct.

His flame of frustration grows inside him, and he feels discouraged.
He is desperate to find a group that would accept his thinking and work with him.
Eventually, though, the white wind pushes the flame of frustration that stops him away.
His eyes shine, and his perseverance to find a group he is suited to, propels him forward.
One day, he will find the right one.

Comments

[Bitte Orca]

Yes.

[Kancara the Reaper]

I like it, but I think it could use more of a syllabic pattern, or a rhyme scheme, or something to tie it all together. Good collection of ideas. My only suggestion is, as I said earlier, a unifying beat or rhyme.