• I died
    once before,
    in the vastness
    of the afflictions
    in my past.

    I remember
    it all too
    clearly,as if
    it had happened
    only moments before.

    I walk
    forward on the cold stone,
    to my death,bare foot,
    naked,
    burned,
    bruised,
    and beaten.

    The manacles
    clamped around my
    ankles and wrists,
    the heavy,and cols iron,
    rough and rusted on the
    inside,they rip through
    my flesh and muscle,
    digging to the depths
    of my bone.

    My head
    sunken,drowned
    in my own
    immense oceans
    of anguish
    and sorrow.

    My eyes
    sealed shut,
    as I try to
    remember if I
    was ever happy,
    or if I even know
    what happiness feels like?
    Unfortunately my only answer is
    no.

    They haul
    me up to,and into
    the pillary,the
    weathered wood
    sending splinters
    into what mangled
    flesh I have left.

    I break
    the seal,
    and open
    my painfuly
    weighted eyelids.

    The abrupt
    light blinds my vision,
    temporarily,as my eyes
    refocus I see the crowd.

    The crowd
    hurls stones at
    my broken body,
    shouting curses,and
    profanity toward me.

    My executioner
    swings his sharpened
    axe upward in preperation,
    but as I gaze upon
    his face I realize
    my executioner is...
    my executioner is me.

    My final
    moments move by
    too slow,yet
    also too fast.

    I take
    my last look at my
    surroundings,and notice
    the furious hatred blazing
    in the crowd's eyes,practically
    seething from their bodies.

    Then
    I look at my
    executioner's eyes,my eyes,
    and see the same hatred,
    even as the blade of
    the axe comes down upon my head.
    Darkness.
    Yes I killed my soul.

    Darkness.
    I wander alone
    in the dark abyss
    of death.

    But God
    sent me
    my guardian angel,
    and she guided me
    through the darkness,
    and into my love's arms.

    My love
    I found
    my connection
    with God
    within you.

    In fact
    anything good
    about me today
    like my faith,
    my heart,
    my devotion,
    was found within
    her,at that moment.

    At that
    moment I turned
    to God,and accepted
    Him into my heart,and
    He forgave me for
    all of my heinous sins,
    then He ressurected my
    soul,and allowed me
    to serve Him gladly.

    I love
    you my love,
    and yes,even you
    my guardian angel,
    for you guided me
    to my love,but most
    of all I love you
    God,for you have done
    more for me,and everyone,
    then anyone can claim.