Body Failure

• Artist: Kei_The_Ripper
• Description: This is a poem about living with Lyme disease. Please comment if you rate. I could really use feedback.
• Date: 06/11/2009
• Tags: body failure lyme disease

At first
You're tired
Stairs become mountains
That cannot be conquered
Lead fills your legs
and arms
Even your neck sometimes
To the point where
You can't hold it up

Then
The pain comes
Like poison daggers
Spreading throughout your body
Movement is like walking through nails
And laying down
Gives little comfort

Soon
Memories fade
Like water on a leaf after the storm
One second, sitting, clear
The next it drops
Falling to the mud below
And forever lost to the earth
Familiar places become strange

Movement
Begins that you
Can't control
At first twitches
Soon turn into seizures
Which turn into hospital visits
Because you've fallen
And have hurt yourself

And the pain
Worsens with each day
Your spine feels broken
Shattered and torn
Sitting is but a dream
Standing is torture
The pills only do so much
For the pain

And soon
You can't get out of bed
You hurt so much
You can't even
Find the strength to
sit up

Comments

[E d i b l e F l o w e r]

Poison daggers = unforgivable cliche.

Also, "like water on a leaf after the storm" is a bit.. drawn out? If you keep it, at least change it to "a storm" cause that flows better. But besides, I liked that whole little simile/metaphor there.