• The day I realized there was no silver lining in the sky was really like any other, there was no disconsolate thoughts or tethered feelings just a knew fond knowing. I use to plead to the Lord for a sign, a sign to why we are all here. Really when you think of it there is not much reason other then to please thine creator and yourself and how does one reach that goal? By being happy? Satisfied? No, no I think it's so much more than that and you, you gammon shall not tell me how. For I know you look at life with your closed minded style and wondering ways.

    From that day I promised myself I would not rest till the day I pieced it together for myself. To say I have broken the no rest for my weary heart can only take so much till it requires such sleep. But in sleep is when I feel I have been the closest to my answers. Dreams, yes the once thought banal idea of dreams is where one can truly find the zeal in life. The fickle amplitude of the effect of it all. With these visions of the night one may access the part of life and thought it strays and fears from. To add such aplomb to all this being. To allow yourself to ponder on the electrifying side of essences.

    I go on to peregrinate myself to a stable alibi for living. Witch now that I think of it there is such an aberration between life and living for one to have a life they must be living but for one to be living the must have the answer I am searching for. For one to have a nice balance they must let go of there acrimonious ways. There is no time to be bitter on this earth hardly even time to think ahead and look upon ones consequences and the easiest way to do so is though helped relief may it be in the growing green cannabis or clear as water vodka. All God given and all human used.

    At this point someone other then I maybe getting sick of going over the same old straw dogs as I have been looking and studying over. But truly it shall be worth it once I have a conclusion. I do see that emotion make up such a big deal one being love. Such a simple word and feeling and that is one thing many lose sight of, the simplicity of love. Yes media convolutes it to something of a higher thought but truly it is as easy as yes or no, one loves someone there whole life through and may not know it, it is not growing into it, it is learning and recognizing it. Not to forget there is loving and being in love. The second would be happiness, one feels that they are happy all most everyday of there life witch is just not the case. One may only be happy once, twice in there lifetime and I use that cryptic word lightly, time. But back to being happy, witch is often confused with enjoyment or fun but happiness that undecidable feeling mixed with safety, security, humor, joy and addictability. So if we reach to feel thus things all at once we must not look for it and have it come to us not necessarily essentially. Topping off with frustration, why frustration and not anger or sadness well frustration is more or less both, a feeling one feels is only felt by the underdog but yet by everyone. One mus suffer apathy and aggravation to come to understanding of ones surroundings. Have the time to grieve and think but may it be short and do not rap your life in such ado this big emotion in many's life should and shall be cut to little but not yet none or really privately.


    As we went over the steps to finishing this test I see that we are getting more lost. With that said I know finally have an answer but not to the big question but to why we get more lost in this dimension and it's because life is to incommodious and contradicting to really know and to know this is truly only for thin lord. But hear my warning life is to short to be forlorn or they shall surely come after you. Now that you have my warning here is my advice, be open to take your preconsidered conscious and turn it inside out, setting it free to a new. Truly, I am sorry.