okay, today was a really great day for me, i won't say why but it had to do with my 5th period. when my dad got home tonight, me and my mom were both recording something at the same time and it apparently doesn't work on the DVR and it was stuck on one channel so my dad couldn't change it and got mad at me. again he always judges things too quickly like i do. he yelled at me and said "I told you before didn't I that you can't record 2 things at once!" and i told him sorry but he said i was lying. there are 3 things in this world that can make me angry really fast so listen up: insulting my friends and calling me a liar, especially when i say sorry because i always mean it. i don't throw it around like other people do. the last thing is muttering things behind my back. mean things, untruthful things. they hurt me and my parents don't know but i hear them all!!! so after my dad called me a liar for me apologizing, i snapped back and yelled back at him that i was and he doesn't know because he's not inside my head or my heart. he had no right saying that. so i went to the computer afterwards and opened up my music folder and began randomly playing songs to calm me but it didn't work so i played stepmania but that didn't work either so i grabbed a sheet of scratch paper and a pencil and thought of what made me the most happiest today and drew it. then i put it in my binder cause it turned out good (NO LOOKING!!!) and i would lose it if i left it at home. then my dad called me over to talk. i didn't want to, i jsut wanted to let it go but went over anyways. he said sorry and i said alright but was starting to tear up so i just sort of said i'm used to it cause you always do it, you always acuse me of things and call me a liar for saying sorry, he didn't say anything so i began walking bac kto my computer but he told me to sit back down and said sorry again but i told him that i got it already (pretty bitchy of me huh?). i sat back down at my desk and put my headphones back on and it was a pretty loud song so i couldn't hear what my dad said but he muttered something about me then my mom came down and asked me if i wanted pie but i didn't answer cause if i did i knew it would be rude. so i pretended that i couldn't hear because of the music and just kept drawing. i heard my dad mutter something to my mom and then i heard her say " Naw, she probably just can't hear." so she caleld me again and i calmed down after a bit so i responded. she asked if i wanted pie but i was still kinda mad so i just turned my head away from her and said no. then i heard her say "No, thank you!" to correct me and that made me angerier so i muttered after her "don't tell me what to do b***h." then i began typing this out and i began to think, jaimes always used to ru naway from his problems that delt with me because i remembered one time when he, stanley and i slept over at xana's i asked to talk with him so i could apologize to him but he just said no and i thought sometimes i run away from my problems so am i beginning to turn into jaimes? noooooooooooooo!!! then i thought about what kind of a person i want to marry and i added another quality: to make sure i don't run away from my problems and to also make sure that i face them properly. well that's all. i feel much better typing this out. phew!
 ShaiMouse · Thu Nov 22, 2007 @ 07:10am · 1 Comments |
