today was not a very good day...sure it was fun...but then...*voice trails off* I hope she's okay...im just really scared that she might...no i cant think of that...but its hard not too...uhg i need help adivce would be good too...cause if she does my whole life...not only hers but mine will be over too...ahh i need to stop thinking so much about it...it might not even happen...but still...*lets tears run down my cheeks* i-i...i cant type anymore...im going to bed and hope for the best...and plus santa maybe can help me...i will pray for her...and then she will be all better...right? *tries to smile* I love her so much...