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My brains vomitorium.
Please consult doctor before use, Ray is not for everyone, side effects may include; distrust, disdain, anger, pitty, loathing, and meloncoly...
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Hah! I'm an idiot, lets leave it at that.
Moving on. I'm bored out of my ******** mind. O_O I'm going crazy. Everybody is busy. Matt is with Joel, watching something or other and I don't know if I want to deal with Matts stupidity. Chris Ray is either drinking or at work sweatdrop . Ryan as always is probably in Richmond having fun with his girlfriend and drinking. Um... Ki is at her house and I don't know her all that well to go out alone with her. Kelly, who I asked to call me and didn't, is home. She's tired which is understandable, and she wants to talk to Elo on the phone. Which is also understandable. Aaaaaaah, Raymond Bored! I'm so close to breaking down to just ******** deal with Matts bullshit. On top of that WoW seems to have stopped working properly again. I hope it's WoW. Not my computer.
Colleges are another thing on my mind as of late. I'm not gonna go to AIW, that's for sure. GMU is the most likely alternative, but I'll probably have to go to NOVA first. I know how freakish it might seem to some people that I've decided to go there, but they don't seem to take it that way. I do want to go away though, either with Kelly and Elo like they have mentioned. Though I don't want to impose on their relationship. Well sometimes I do but I hold back all urges as of late.
Ah there aren't even any people online to talk too!
I'm always so conflicted with decisions I don't know how to make. I just want some guidence, my own "orical" if you will. Help me go in a direction, even if it is the wrong one. That's what I'm lacking at the moment, direction. I've totally lost that. Depression, meloncoly, and hoplessness does that. Amongst other unnamed emotions that are usually spoken in this here journal.
Ugh, just had a feeling of missing the simplicity of high school. Weird how you can't wait to get out of some place and when you do, you realize it wasn't all that bad. Things were just easier then, a lot less to think about, more social situations, stress consited of doing your homework and being home in time for dinner.
I almost want to go back. I think that if I had to do my life over again I wouldn't change anything cause I kind of like the person I am today, but the more I think about it, I know I would change things. One thing in particular, and if it wasn't that it'd be something else of that importence. I need to get over it!
Nobody reads this.
Suicidal thoughts are... nevermind, they're dumb. Don't do that! It's bad for you!
~Melly out.
 melidserke · Mon Nov 14, 2005 @ 02:40am · 0 Comments |
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