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My brains vomitorium.
Please consult doctor before use, Ray is not for everyone, side effects may include; distrust, disdain, anger, pitty, loathing, and meloncoly...
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Another end to an O-K day. Let's see, what happened... Woke up, went to school with Matt and Ki, who was actually quite nice to me today. I think she was a bit more tame due to the fact that she wasn't feeling good. I told them about D&D, and they really wanted to play, which made me happy. I don't know why really.. probably cause they're somewhat inspirational. So they started musing about characters, and eventually drew up a few sketches. Totally awesome by the way. Ki said she'd draw my character, cause I'm not quite at the level of greatness they're at. Them being animators and all. So she started drawing up a bit, while I worked on my charactes back story. It kind of sucks right now, but that's what editing is for. She didn't get to finish though cause class was over and we parted ways, but she said she'd finish it another time. Matt and I got a ride from one of his friends Erin, she's pretty cool. I don't know if she was just looking at cars behind us, or if she was looking at me in the rear view mirror though. When ever we were stopped sometimes I'd look in the mirror and I swear she was looking at me. I don't know, nice to think about I guess. We got to Matts car and then he dropped me off here at my house. Hung out here, continued to muse about D&D with my brother and started to even draw up a character sheet. Then I had an urge to play WoW, so I did. I had to help a bit around the house cause my mother and brother are leaving tomorrow to go to New York for Thanksgiving. My mom's pretty upset by that, I on the other hand am quite excited. The whole house to myself for almost a week. By the time dinner was ready my friends Chris and Ryan stopped by unexpected and they ate over for dinner. I havn't seen Ryan face to face really for a couple weeks, and he said he was happy to see me. Which I like cause I enjoy knowing when people miss me. Which I actually have more to b***h about later I think. They were really bored and wanted to hang out, and Ryan really wanted to play chess, so we did. Him and I went at it first, and it was an awesome game. Then my brother wanted to play winner, and Ryan pulled away in a close victory. Ryan then went on to masicre my brother, who said he was better then me. Then we tought Chris how to play, and he seemed to enjoy it until he played me one on one. He has a bad habit of not like something unless he's automaticly good at it. So I kicked his butt, and Ryan and I went at it again. Of course he won, especially by now I was getting kind of bored with the game and was thinking about Kelly. Which is about the time he asked if she was up to anything tonight. So I called her to find out. This is about the part where I get a bit frustrated...
So she picked up the phone, almost with a questioning tone. Now I know paranoia has a lot to ******** with when it comes to her, I'll try and keep that in mind as I say this. I asked to see what she was up to and she said she was hanging out with her sister. I then asked about Elo, who had gone home cause he had an eye doctor apointment the next moring. Afterwards I told her that Ryan was asking if she wanted to come out. This opened a slew of excuses on what she had to do so she couldn't come out. I asked her if she wanted to, and she came back with that she was hanging out with her sister and couldn't stay out late. I told her she didn't have school tomorrow, and that ment 2am instead of 12. She came back with a hesitent yes, then said she had a bunch of s**t she needed to do around the house anyway. So I told her she didn't have to come out if she didn't want to. Then we talked breifly about tomorrows plan, cause we're going to a concert tomorrow.
If you don't want to do something just ******** say so! Gah, she doesn't understand how much more it hurts for her to lie to me about something so stupid. Cause then I start being paranoide about what she is doing instead of hanging out with me. If she's hanging out with Elo, then fine, they're going out. I've accepted this fact for quite a while. If she went out with some other friends, then ******** say it! If she just doesn't want to come out tonight, then just saaaay it. Don't "uh... I uh... can't cause... I have stuff to do?" It's so annoying. And when I try to talk to her tomorrow about it she'll probably blow me off, and twist that dagger she plunged in my back the night before. I hate half truthes... and honestly I'm starting to suspect her learieness about hanging out with me is related to Elo feeling a certain way about me, or me and her. Cause they pulled themselves aside the night before this to have a private talk. After having her lay across the two of us in my car while I drove, and I massaged her feet. I feel like the attention we give eachother either confuses him, or makes him jealous. I don't know.. I kind of want to bring that up tomorrow also. I think her and I should get into a wrestling match or something. I try so hard to be a good honest friend, and I'm sure she does to, I know she hides things with good intent, but I feel it does more harm then good. I'm not a child, and I'm especially not her child. I just want her to stop belittleing me. I want her to ******** respect me. And now I'm angry again.
P.S. I texted Shannan a happy birthday message instead of calling her since I was busy. I have yet to get a responce in any way. Things go gloriously in the life of Ray.
~Melly out
 melidserke · Wed Nov 23, 2005 @ 04:48am · 0 Comments |
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