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No relationship is "perfect." Especially not in the sense that there is no strife. You're dealing with two people who's needs can be very different and varied with each other. Most of the time, there is a problem because of a misunderstanding. One interprets what the other is saying in a way that is adverse to what was intended.

This creates an issue. The assumption is the root of the problem, where the other thinks they aren't wanted or their feelings and needs don't matter. In most cases this isn't true. A relationship signifies a level of trust and care between a pair of beings. They think about the other as an extension of themselves; either through considering the other in planning, or putting in effort to appease their partner.

The future of a relationship, whether it is strong or collapses, is defined by how the pair can move past the strife and misunderstanding in a way that both parties are satisfied. This usually comes from communicating the problem and finding ways to fix it. Speed should not be considered when solving these issues, as it will only create further problems within the relationship itself. However, efficiency is key. The most efficient way in which the two parties can solve the problem, the better the relationship will be. Either due to the strengthening of the bond through the strife suffered, or from the future repercussions of dealing with the situation effectively.

For example, Jenny read an article recently about the effects of coffee on someone's health and decides that Bessy is drinking too much. Jenny then also decides to buy less coffee in the shopping. When Bessy finds out that there isn't much coffee left at the end of the week, she gets angry and confronts Jenny in a hostile manner. This is because Bessy doesn't understand that through the love of their relationship Jenny decided to buy less coffee. Of course Jenny is offended by this. She was doing something out of care and love, but she is now in a situation which is undesirable.

There are many different outcomes to this, and the most commonly observed would be that both parties close up and don't explain the situation. The communication reduces to near nill and both resent each other for it. This opens the door to each other picking on other little petty problems and turning the relationship into a large mess.

The situation could have been avoided in the first place if Jenny consulted Bessy about her coffee drinking habits and found a way that both were satisfied with. However, this didn't happen. To solve the strife both would have to open up and think rationally about the reasoning. Bessy is obviously not a mind reader, so Jenny must explain why she bought less coffee and that she isn't just an over-controlling b***h. Of course, this isn't all Jenny's fault. Bessy can learn from this too: even though she could be stressed, Bessy should try and stay calm and approach situations with light questions. Such as "hey, I noticed there wasn't as much coffee, am I drinking that much?" Of course, everyone is different and will have their own approach, but keep in mind that small problems call for small reactions.

[conclusion that im horrible at writing]





 
 
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