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Pretty much and update of my condition. . . I'm doing very well emotionally. To tell you guys the truth, I've felt better than I have in months. The original shell-shock of moving so g-ddamn far away from home is starting to wear away and I've met new people. I still miss everyone back home and yearn for my ex-fiance more than anything else in the world (even more than sushi and Luzita's tacos), I'm starting to realize that I simply cannot go home. This place is all I have now, so I might as well do all I can to make sure I don't ******** up my life to the point where it can't be repaired. Optimism is the only choice from now on. There's just too much s**t to do. I don't have time to mourn for that which is lost to me forever.
Mentally, I'm improving. It just takes a bit to get over the news I had received earlier this year. I choose not to reveal that news. I've learned a secret to dealing with the tragedies of my past. In order to stay sane, I have to keep my mind untroubled by those memories. To bring the subject up would to be inviting tears to come bursting out of my eyes. I don't have time to cry. I've wasted too much time doing that already, and plan not to dwell on the subject. It's pointless to cry over what has already passed long ago.
Socially, I just don't hang out with anyone anymore. It's a waste of time, quite honestly. I choose to stay away from the drama of a social life, so I only communicate to my friends via the internet. People are often offended by what I say. My response is always a curt "******** you. I was not talking to you. Go away." So far, a lot of rumors have followed me, so I have a pretty bad reputation. In my six months of living here, I have been called every insult possible. The remaining rumors are that I'm a "two cent whore" and a "lesbian". Well, I am most certainly not a slut. A tease, yes, but definately not a slut. And for the lesbian rumor. . . Well, I am bisexual, so I would be half, right? Whatever. They don't know me well enough to know anything. So ******** them all. Ha ha, ho ho.
Physically, I'm not doing well at all. I was recently diagnosed with pleurisy, which is a pretty awful disease. My health has been on the decline for the past few months. I'm not surprised at all that it ended up like this. I am bummed out, though, that I can't leave the house and that I faint after only slightly exerting myself. I was so pissed off that I can't work out anymore and am gaining weight. I'm a size 5 now. AAAH!!! Before, I was a size 2, but was underweight. The plus of this situation, though, is that my bust size increased by one size. I'm a 36' D now. Yay! To keep the weight off me, though, I've been eating only healthy foods. Junk food is not an option now. Probably the closest thing I eat to junk food is a can of soda and perhaps a scoop of ice cream. Even that, I beat myself up about. I'm not anorexic, so no one worry about that, ok? If you do I'll have to tickle you with your own intestines. Oh, and on another note, I've learned how to make onigiri (Japanese rice balls wrapped in roasted sea weed). It's not pretty at all, but it sure is yummy and healthy at the same time!
My update is pretty much complete now, if anyone was worried about me at all (which I seriously doubt, other than Maru and Neko). For those that did worry, I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine. I'm too stubborn to die. For those who didn't worry. . . good for you.
Anyway, I have pics. Yes.
The End..
Go away now.
 Jew-bacca · Sun Feb 17, 2008 @ 11:01am · 3 Comments |
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