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I will never understand why people have to be so mean. I just found out one of my pictures was posted on 4chan where people proceeded to call me a poser, loser, gaiafag, leech, and that I should shoot myself and make everyone happy.
Funny thing is, I was just thinking the same thing. I was looking for someone to tell me "no, we all love you. Please don't kill yourself"
Right now... Kayla is the only one keeping me from it. I love her too much... I know it would screw her up pretty bad... specially right before metrocon.
My boyfriend hasn't been talking to me... and when he does he really doesn't have anything good to say. Jerry was right. Hell is the constant dashing of hopes. I hoped that I had found my prince charming. I hoped that he would find a job. I hoped he would actually consider moving here with me. I hoped he might not turn out like Nick...
But i was wrong... and I am in hell. I love him so much... I threw away everything on him... and I don't think he understands. He thinks he is a stepping stool to help me find the man of my dreams... but why wont he just accept that he WAS the man of my dreams... before I started dating him. I didn't mind the distance when he called me every night. When he wasn't always tired or sick, when he left me comments and flattered me...
But no... That all stopped. I don't understand... I just don't. I don't understand any of this.
I just want to talk to someone and no one is online at 5:00 in the ******** morning. Not even my rat is awake...
I know James is in jacksonville right now, so he is roaming... but that doesn't effect his text messages. I can't wait to hear this excuse! This should me good for a laugh... or a cry as it may more realistically be. Just to show a million more things that are more important than me.
Damnit... if he wants to end this why doesn't he just do it already and stop keeping me up all night crying and screaming and cussing and worrying.
I guess everyone has become immune to my tears. -_-;
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