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No matter how hard I try I can never keep someone by my side. Why is is, no matter what I always have I lose hold of the one thing I hold dear. I lose my self when that feeling is missing. I try and try but my attempts are futile. I always lose the one thing I love. I wish to know what true love or true feelings but alas I can't find my true self. I just cry in side my soul wishing to know how to feel. All I want is the one I love to come back to me and make my soul free once more because I will die and never be reincarnated to a better form. I will have ceased my existence on this pitiful world and rot in my soul forever never to see the light of day normally; all I see is black and white. that's the color of my soul.