i hate my life.....i have to take care of my little brother and sister and all of my friends and worry bout all of their problems along with mine!!! not to ******** mention i have to take care of my drunken mother. she is either violently drunk or she just acts like a 3 year old. and lately its the 3 year old thing!!!! she almost burnt the house down yesterday and its like she is my ******** child and i practically had to raise my little brother myself because my mom is a drunk and my dad dose not like to come home because of it. maybe if she saw what she ******** makes me do to myself and how she influenced me to start drinking and s**t then she would stop.....wait that is if she really even gives a s**t about me. my dad and her have been fighting a hole lot and she has been drinking and he has not been home in 4 ever and when he is they cant stand to be in the same room with him! which leaves me to take full responsibility! im only ******** 14!!!! wtf!!!! i cant take this anymore!!!! everyone in school is a b***h a** and school in itself makes me depressed as hell and then i have to come home to this s**t! and then everyone assumes im ok! sometimes when i say im ok i dont mean it!!! and i hate myself....i really do....im not pretty at all and i hate my body there are scars from head to toe and i never feel like im skinny enough. i might just stop eating and wither away. or pull the bulimic / anorexic s**t like last year....uuuugh! i cant take this!!! ******** life!!! sure i have sinned but why after all of the times i try to make up for that am i just ******** screwed over again!!!!! AGAIN!!!! i am loosing whats left of my sanity and .....i just dont know what to do. there are so many people who look up to me and i am afraid that i cant stand tall for then any more....or stand tall for myself....i cant control the voices in my head.....
 L3thal Ch3micalz · Sat Apr 18, 2009 @ 02:32am · 1 Comments |
