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Moved From FanFiction
Story Quotes




“Now now I’m sure they didn’t stare all the time”
Back outside
Pein: “I wish Konan would hurry up, I’ve got nothing good to look at”
Tobi: “You could look at me Leader sir”
Pein: “Madara, I mean Obito, I mean Tobi shut up”
Itachi: “Nice save sir” -Pein, Tobi, and Itachi, We are not Crazy!

“I shall help you find the compass…if you do strange things to my dog.” - Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean Bloopers

“I don’t want to hear this from a guy that screams ‘Save me, Kakuzu!’ every time he gets cornered.” “Pfft. You wish I screamed your name on a regular basis, you cocksucker." -Kakuzu and Hidan, Missonary Work

"WHERE THE ******** ARE MY PANTS!?" -Makemebad on youtube. He's awesome like Fred!

“I… banged my head on the wall…””Dare I ask how you managed that?”“I don’t know. I just like… sat down on my bed and BAM! There’s the wall, waiting to impale my head.””Oh god. Your wall sounds violent.” -Sean and Caleb, Cross My Heart

"Would too, I'm sure William would love to lick frosting off my d**k." "Take that back!" "Suck my d**k!" -Brendon and Ryan, Vanilla Frosting--Ah, the literal meaning in this

“I look good, don’t I?" “You’re a jerk,” “That doesn’t answer my question.” “Whatever... sure: you’re gorgeous. I’d ******** you right here if I could.” "I know." -Damien and Pip, Even in Dreams



Real Life Quotes




“He’s gonna get her pregnant then leave.” “Oh aren’t you just sunshiny and bright today..." - Me and Tiffy watching Cinderella previews

"Who want's some beef jerky!?" -Emi and Kiba xDD!

"Don't you remember saying that?""Uh, no, was I drunk?""...yes..." -Dear Mummy and I

"When love is gone, there's always justice
And when justice is gone, there's always force
And when force is gone, there's always mom
Hi mom!" -Frostious

"His foreplay is amazing." "I know, I was there." -Deidara and Itachi when me and Emi were being idiots and noticed how Ita is always in the background of SasoDei pics. You know it's true.

"Stop humping my head I'm trying to eat my fudgin' cheerios!" -Sasori when Dei was humping his head >D

"Who's that?" "That's Kakuzu." "No, who's that?" "That's Kakuzu!" "No! Who's that?!" "Oh, that? That's a man." -Emi and I looking at a man

"Hey, you're not nekkie." -Sasori realizing Dei was, indeed, not naked.

"Pretty solid, now we need a turkey leg to throw at his head in school while singing the American national anthem." -Me while my friend plotted a jerk's demise, at this point you must understand that I'm probably doped up on crack half of the time

"I'm not a stalker...by the way, you're out of milk" -Me at my friends birthday party, scared the piss out of her when she realized she was out of milk

"Hello Hams." -Some Germin chick

"Names come out of your a**?!" "Yeah! (wiggles butt) CHEROLE!" -Me and my psycotic friend while we were making up names

Sasori jumps on table "COME HERE!" Pulls Dei up with him and they start making out on some turkey. "Tobi was going to eat that turkey!" -Akatsuki's Thanksgiving...gotta love crack

"But meh backyard is big, XD" "xDD Mine always has something dead decaying back there >>;;;" - My friend Tiffy and I, my cat is sociopathic >w>;;


________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________



16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART


1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"



If you don't have a problem with homosexuality, copy this into your profile.

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, liposuction and air conditioning.
2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children. (So where did the gay people come from...)
8.) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans...


If a cow laughs does milk come out its nose?

If #2 pencils are so popular why are they still #2?

The "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business,
did they see it coming?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to
kill himself is it considered a hostage situation?

Why is the word abbreviation so long?

Doesnt "expecting the unexpected" make the
unexpected expected?

Do coffins have lifetime guarantees?

If the sky is the limit, then what is space over the limit?

Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them?

Is "Cute as a button" supposed to be a compliment? Since when are buttons cute?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say
"I think Ill squeeze these dangly things here and
drink what comes out"?

Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a
mouse?

If electricity comes from electrons does morality
come from morons?

Wouldnt it be smart to make the sticky stuff on
envelopes taste like chocolate?

Isn't it ineteresting how the word 'politics' is made up of
the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

If a fork were made of gold would it still be
considered silverware?

Why do companies offer you "free gifts" Since when has a gift NOT been free?

If a turtle doesnt have a shell is he homeless or
naked?

Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you
done?

Whose cruel idea was it to put an S in the word
Lisp?

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

If u spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?

If vegetarians eat vegetables what do
humanitarians eat?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped
people at the Special Olympics?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge would they call it
Fed UP?

If quitters never win and winners never quit how
can it be wise to: "Quit while you're ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Most mothers feed their babies with little spoons
and forks What do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the
Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them!

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be
if it didnt zigzag?

After eating do amphibians need to wait an hour
before getting OUT of the water?

If olive oil comes from olives where does baby
oil come from?

Why is it that when transporting stuff on a car
its called a SHIPment, but if transporting stuff on a
ship its called CARgo?

If two wrongs dont make a right then how come two
negatives make a positive?






All of these Quotes were originally on my Fanfiction account





 
 
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