Permission for Life's End *she shutters*
She gave me permission to kill myself, handed me the weapon to do so. Why didn't I do it? Didn't want make her satisfied.
Ending my own life is my choice. I'm not gonna waste the experience for a woman who has tortured me for so many years.
She said while handing me my scissors: "A mother is supposed to want to die for her children. I'd rather have you dead. You cause every problem. You keep threatening to kill yourself, do it already!"
A few other encounters with her are haunting my thoughts as well. (Notice how she is still ruining me)
My job is basically manual labor. I despise it. I do hard work and only get 14 bucks. The gas money to drive to where I work costs more than money made. Plus, it is illegal for me to work at this age. I shouldn't be doing this torture!
Lately I've been getting pretty banged up from my 'job.' I returned home with my face and arms covered in irritation and surface cuts. Once a shower was taken (even cold) all felt was a sincere burning sensation through the entire body.
When my mother saw me, she sneered, looking me up and down like I had done this to myself.
"Mom?" Trying to get her attention towards me and away from the hot pink skin. "Work is making me miserable."
"Everything makes you miserable."
Ever since being 'hired' I have begged to quit, but my ma will not allow me to. Why? "Because times are tough."
Really? Times are tough? I find this funny, mother, because you depend on my father (a man you don't even love) for money and haven't had a job yourself for over 8 years now from your own doing. Times would not be so 'tough' for us if you were making that 35 thousand.
Tonight my ma shoves medication in my face. "Tomorrow wake up early, you have to be there by 9am." "Ma? I'd rather kill myself than work." Her response: "Yeah? Blah blah blah."
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