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i had a dream where i was falling falling father and father into the darkness, i can see all my friends and loved ones i reach out to them but they all one at a time slowly turn around and wallk away, i open my mouth to shout but nonthing comes out, then i see an image of my deceased dad he's holding out his hand i reach out to grab his hands but befor we can toutch he fades away i open my mouth to scream but no one hears me im laying down in the darknes and some one kneals down and wispers in my ear u will allways be alone i want to cry but i cant, i had another dream tha i was wallking through a filed i can hear a voice shouting out to me not to go but i dont turn around as soon as im far away i hear somthing i turn to see wha it is i catch a quick glance of wha seems like a black cat, i know tha i make people misrable and i cant never make any one happy cauz i cant make my self happy i want to be happy agin i want to smile and to laugh and cut up like i use to in the good ole days, but it seems like all life has left me, my hands grow colder and colder by the days as dose my heart it feels as though my blood runs cold through my vieans i want to find tha spark of life in me agin so i can be happy so tha i can make others happy cauz i know if i can figure out how to make my self happy i can make the ones around me happy but its like i have this big barrior around me keeping me from reaching out to others and keeping others from reaching out to me i want to know how to find tha spark of life tha use to be in me a many years ago im tired of beaing so sad and depressed all the time all it dose is make the ones around me missrable because soon they al lstart to distance them selfs from me.