Since we began speaking again I've realized that David hasn't really changed at all, just on the outside.... He's still that same wonderfully dark person that I fell in love with three years ago. I guess all I paid attention to was what I could see from his outer shell. He's still this quiet loner whos even a tiny bit shy. I don't understand why I believe he had changed so much. Maybe it was the hair, or the clothes or the new and improved attitude, or even Danielle. It almost pains me that everything he's tried to make work with other girls has sort of failed. Mostly because of me for some reason or another.
Today, I sat on his lap I guess it was a test to see if he would say no or not, and I would have been completely ok if he did decline. He's much more comfortable than a chair, and he's warm, too. ^^ It felt nice to be close to him even if it were in such a non-sexual, totally friendly way. I'm becoming more and more comfortable around him. Laughing at his dark jokes and arguing about whether or not a muffin and a cupcake are the same thing...Unfortunaly I was proven wrong on that one, there is a difference.
The feelings I have are transforming...No longer am I so hopelessly in love with him but, now, I'm finding new things to like about him. It's like the love is still in my heart but my mind has reset itself and began to relearn everything about him again in a whole new way. I don't regret taking my time to become friends with him again because I needed the time and I believe that he did too.
Even if we never get romantically involved again I'd be happy just to have such a friend who is so dear to my heart and completely awesome to hang out with. Oddly, this is completely contrary to my past beliefs.
The only problem I'm currently facing is that I so desperately want to ask him to prom. I know it's wrong but I have always pictured him as my prom date. Us going together both dressed in matching black, stepping out of his mothers car, drinking punch, and sharing that first slow dance together. It would be so beautiful. I've been putting off asking anyone to prom, and I finally know why, because I don't want to go with anyone but him. So, it's either prom with David, I sort of really hope that he'd consider asking me.. just as friends of course....if he'd want that...
Or I will go alone. Because No one will ever be as good as him for my prom date. Especially since I have that whole girly dream thing....
Embarassing much?
PriestessNaiomicana Community Member 
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