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yeah, this is the first time I will actually be using this for the purpose it was meant for...I think I'm going to keep a digital log of my life from this day forward. it will really help develop my writing skills. but I digress...now to the point of this:
Life...its something, isn't it?
the things that happen in this life can't just be random coincidences, especially when random coincidences happen to you very often. The word that should be defined in the dictionary as a series of random coincidences is fate. And my fate is one hell of a roller coaster ride.
I have fallen in love again...
The last time I was in love like this was at least 3 years ago. I'm still wondering is this love going to play out like the last one. So far, it seems more promising than the last. Still trying to shake the thought of ending up broken again. Not just broken hearted, but broken spirited as well, which also leads to my body being broken. The effect my emotional state has on my body is astounding. The human body is a wonder.
Consulting a higher power on matters of love seems like cheating. Then again, who would know better about love than the one who made the emotion and pours it out onto all of us. So I did ask Azna to reveal to me the woman I was meant to be with even before I knew her name or fell in love with her. The signs I was given pointed to no one else but her. Or is it that I just wanted all the signs to point to her? I'm still confused about it, so I'm going to ask again. I will definitely be looking for even stronger signs.
Speaking of my spirituality and my God, I wonder what my family and everyone else would think if I told them what I believe now. I think my mother would probably flip if I tell her that I don't believe that Jesus is God, but a messenger of God. It would be pretty hard to explain that I am still technically a Christian because I still love Jesus and I believe in the things that he taught, but that I think that the church has fabricated some of the things in the bible to manipulate the people. I wonder if she would even flip out if I told her that I believe the devil doesn't exist. I guess I won't know for sure until I tell her, but I'm not going to be telling her yet. I think it would possibly be easier if I was gay and coming out the closet. I give my LGBT friends props for that.
And finally, I wonder where my life is headed. I have done a complete 360 on my career path, set myself back a year in college, and possibly set myself up for financial hardships and potential brokenness along with it. Still, everyone else has faith in me. Everyone still believes that I'm destined for greatness even after I switched from pursuing a career that would keep money flowing in the bank, to a career path that is known for breaking most who try it. Vets do make more annually than writers. But this is the path I have chosen. As long as they have faith, I will have faith in myself and keep pushing on.
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