Memorable Quotes from
"Robot Chicken
Jazz: So get your a** checked out before it's too late, turkeys!
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father: [comes into room after gunshots are heard] Hey, son... how would you like to go to DISNEYLAND!
son: Is Mom coming?
father: DISNEYLAND!
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Various: Look! It's Joel Schumacher, history's greatest monster!
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Britney Spears: [in a death-match against Joey Fatone] Wait a second! Meet my homegirls - Christina Aguilera, Avril Lavigne, Jessica Simpson, Jessica Simpson's sister...
Ashlee Simpson: I'm Ashlee!
Britney Spears: [sighs in frustration] Sh! The big kids are talkin'!
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Announcer: The public would never know what mad experiments took place under the Matterhorn that day.
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Fidel Castro: Andale, andale! Arriba, arriba!
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Butthead: [about Starfire] That chick has orange boobs!
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M. Night Shyamalan: What a twist!
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Hello Kitty: There are 42 pressure points on the human body which result in death. I will teach you 41. The 42nd I may one day have to use on you !
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Leonardo: Tubular!
Raphael: Radical!
Donatello: Awesome!
Michealangelo: Reaganomics!
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Bill Clinton: I'm Bill Clinton! I'm gonna push over this cow!
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Joey Fatone: Of course! Together, we're stronger than we ever were solo! Right, Justin?
Justin Timberlake: Well... uh? heh... All right.
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Child: Is this gonna hurt?
Doctor: Only if God hates you.
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pirate 1: [has a helm wheel on the front of his pants]
pirate 2: Arr! What's that steering wheel be for?
pirate 1: Arrr, it's driving me nuts!
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Ironhide: Wow, Prime sure has to urinate a lot.
Prowl: Yea! He must be French, cuz he's-a-peein'! Ha ha ha!
Ironhide: Uhh, I think that's "*You're* a-peein'"
Prowl: He he he... but... I'm not.
Ironhide: Ugh, such a Retardicon.
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Darth Vader: Luke... I am your father!
Luke Skywalker: Noooo! That's impossible!
Darth Vader: It's true! And Princess Leia is your sister!
Luke Skywalker: That's... improbable.
Darth Vader: And the Empire will be defeated by Ewoks!
Luke Skywalker: That's... highly unlikely...
Darth Vader: And as a kid, I built C-3PO!
Luke Skywalker: ...wha?
[time passes]
Darth Vader: And you know that all-powerful Force? That's really just microscopic bacteria called Midichlorians!
Luke Skywalker: [smoking a cigarette] Look, if you're not gonna take this seriosuly, I'm outta here!
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Human Torch: It, um... It burns when I pee.
Optimus Prime: [entering] WHAT DID I JUST TELL YOU?
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Human Torch: [sitting on desk in full flame on mode] Well, doc, it burns when I pee.
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Scarlett Johansson: [in limo] Can I just roll down the window and shake his hand?
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Queen Beryl: Soon I will have your life force, Sailor Moon, and my plan to rule the earth will come to fruition!
[notices her erection]
Queen Beryl: Oh! Anime sure is weird.
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[Tupac walks around heaven and bumps into The Notorious B.I.G.]
The Notorious B.I.G.: Pac?
Tupac Shakur: Biggie?
Tupac Shakur, The Notorious B.I.G.: [Tupac and B.I.G. pull their guns and shoot each other dead]
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Disney's Head: I... *hunger*...
Bodyguard: [to two other bodyguards off camera] Bring in the first Cuban child!
[Cuban child is brought in by two other bodyguards, and is whimpering in fear]
Bodyguard: Walt Disney... must *feed*!
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Velma: No! All my friends are dead and I'm still a virgin!
Don Knotts: You think your life is bad? I just found out one of my tenants might be a flaming homosexual! And someone just killed me.
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Asian Massuese: [shouts] Happy ending! Happy ending! Happy ending!
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Camel: [standing outside a strip bar] That looked like my toe!
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Daphne: [falls down a trapdoor and finds a mantle adorned by the head of Pamela Voorhees] Hey, that must be Jason's dead mother! This explains everything!
Fred: [falls through the same trapdoor and lands on Daphne] Hey, that must be Jason's dead mother! This explains everything!
Daphne: Fred, you're an a*****e! And that ascot makes you look gay!
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Mad Scientist: [holding up a sign that reads] Why did the chicken cross the road?
Robot Chicken: [holding up another sign that reads] Bawk?
Mad Scientist: [holding up another sign that reads] To die in the name of science!
[pulls out a butcher's knife and chases the chicken]
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George W. Bush: My name is George W. Bush, and I approve this message: Tacos rule.
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Catwoman: [walking in on The Hulk peeing on the dishes] My good plates!
The Hulk: Dishes done!
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Japanese Gameshow Host: You want million dollar? You win crazy smile face million dollar!
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Ryan Seacrest: Nice outfit. Isn't it gauche to wear brown after Labor Day?
Count Chockula: I don't know, Ryan. Isn't it gauche be a total douche bag on national TV each week?
Ryan Seacrest: [smiling] Not when you're paid like me.
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Pat Morita: You can't enter that tournament without the proper skills, Fat One.
Joey Fatone: ...And will you train me, Mr. Miyagi?
Pat Morita: First of all, I'm Pat-effin'-Morita, ya nutsack. Second of all, you're too old for the training.
Daniel-san: [enters with a plunger] So was I... if you remember.
Pat Morita: Daniel-san! I thought I smelled failure. That toilet's not going to uplug itself!
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[The Fat One's training is a parody of Mortal Kombat]
Scorpion Wanna-Be: [throws a chain to pull the Fat One close] Come here, you!
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Joey Fatone: [Britney Spears joins with others into a giant monster] I'm finished!
Justin Timberlake: Don't worry, Joey!
J.C. Chasez: We'll help you!
Lance Bass: All for one and one for all!
Chris Kirkpatrick: Reaganomics!
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Freddy Krueger: If Ghostface got voted out, take it from Freddy, that would be a dream come true. Ha ha ha ha! You get it? Ha ha ha ha! A Dream! Ha ha ha ha! I kill people in their nightmares. That is what I do, that's my thing.
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Breckin Meyer: Seriously, is this the only part of the sketch I'm in? I spent an hour and 15 minutes in traffic getting here, it was great that I was in a Benz but this is horse s**t! Oh, ******** you! You know what? I'm going home! Yeah, you can kiss my a**! I was in Garfield, you ********!
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[Corey Feldman is dying]
Corey Feldman: Remember me... in Stand By Me... and the Lost Boys... the first half a tleast.... oh... and... Friday... the 13th... part...
[Corey Feldman dies]
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[The Fat One is trying to determine which Ninja Turtle is Corey Feldman]
Raphael: Pizza is *radical*!
Michealangelo: Master Splinter's *way cool*!
Leonardo: Turtle power, dude!
Donatello: Clean... Sober... Back on television! Things are lookin' up for the Feldmeister!
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Ivy from "The Village" (Bryce Howard): Is anyone there? I come from a village where we think it's 1886. I've broken our taboo about entering the forest to find medicine for my fiancee. Hello?
Ivy from "The Village" (Bryce Howard): [honking noise is heard. Ivy is run over by a bus, M. Night Shyamalan pulls up in a jeep] That... that was a really weak twist.
M. Night Shyamalan: Yeah, sorry bout that folks!
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Random guy: [in a "Sleepway Camp" parody] Oh, my God! Somebody remembered this movie and wrote a comedy sketch about it!
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TiVo Addict: [sits at TV while watching TiVo] Wow! I can record my favorite shows and teach it to record other shows that I like! This is great! What did I do without this thing?
[phone rings]
TiVo Addict: Yello?
Guy: Hey, buddy! We're heading down to the bar. You wanna come?
TiVo Addict: Why don't you take your *bar* and shove it up your *a***! I'm watching TiVo!
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Janis: [Janis is appearing on the Howard Stern radio show] I just found out I have Hepatitus C. I only have five years left to live.
Howard Stern: Wow, that sucks. So, are you going to show us your breasts?
Janis: ******** you, Howard! I'm dying!
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Keanu Reeves: Hi, I'm Keanu Reeves. I've beaten the world of acting, and now I'm beating the world of breakfast sausage.
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Harrison Ford: I'd like to meet the team of engineers who'll accompany me on my mission to space.
NASA Guy: Actually, the remaining five spots on the flight will be filled by Aerosmith. We need a cool theme song for this mission.
Steven Tyler: I'm ready to rock!
[vomits]
Harrison Ford: My God. Did you just get off the centerfuge trainer?
Steven Tyler: No, I just shot smack into both my eyeballs! Yeeahhoo!
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