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Dear Haiku,
Do you remember how I used to write you everyday like this? Great old times, is it not? Lately, I have enjoyed getting back to me... but at the same time it is very bittersweet. You can't simply go back and have things be as they used to. You can't expect other people not to change and to grow while you grow and change. I see that now. I feel.... a lot of what tender and deep friendships I have with people are slowly slipping away.
Out of my grasp, and into yesteryear. They are no longer the little school children I used to exchange trading cards and drawings with. Or the gamers who would spend countless hours playing videogames with. No no.... They are mothers, husbands, wives, lovers, fathers now. These are all such beautiful things, I just wish I could be apart of that and know them now as they are. I bet they are such fascinating people! Living their most beautiful dream.
I guess I am a sentimental dreamer.... wishing I could always keep them as my most cherished friends and confidants... but things change... people change... ideals are forever changing... and so have I. I too have changed. Still.. there is a space inside of my heart that aches for our happy times....the laughter, the tears, even sometimes the playful banter. I miss their warmth, and their love. But all things come to an end, don't they?
Someone once told me.. that people are put in your life for a reason, some for a season, and then there are those for a lifetime. The Reason: To teach you something. Or to help you through an issue. Once the lesson has been taught, the relationship no longer lasts... or once you've been helped with the issue.....you both will part ways.... you never know how... but it does. It's nobody's fault... they just served their purpose.
The Season: This relationship lasts longer than a full moon phase.. and carries over for a very long time... you share all kinds of wonderful and amazing experiences.... but then...you go your separate ways. It doesn't have to be traumatic... just gradually... you lose touch. They were there for you to share in that moment.... and that moment has passed.
The Lifetime: The relationships that are meant to last a lifetime... are the ones you hold onto and NEVER let go. These people have been with you through thick and thin... no matter how old the friendship, it gets better with age like a fine wine. You two are deeply connected.. you feel the sense of oneness even if you both live far away.... no matter what happens... that person always finds a way to get back to you... and they are there for you..come what may. A friendship like that.. is very hard to find.. and when you do.. don't mess it up!!!
There are lifetime friendships I wish I had held onto... but I didn't realize what I had until it was already gone. Back then I didn't know how to feel or how to love and I didn't know how to even truly love myself. If ever I could meet these people once again... I would tell them how sorry I am... and I would hope they could forgive me for being so blind to what I had....I would love to tell them, how much they mean to me...how much I love them, and how I am so thankful and blessed to have ever known such angels. I would hug them ever so tight and even after the embrace... that love I feel... I would hold onto for dear life.
My sincerest wish... is that they are happy wherever they may be... whoever they are... whoever they're with or not with. I pray they are healthy and hopeful...swallowing more sugar than sorrow. I wish them luck.. and lots of love. I shall miss them all so very much. I thank them for the beautiful memories. Apart of loving someone is letting them go, right? So now... it's my time to let them go.For the person or persons who read my journal... I ask you... what do you gain from reading Haiku?
Can the lessons I've learned help you to make wiser decisions? Is this all entertainment for you? Really understand what I am writing.. understand the tender sincerity of my message. Be kind to the ones who are kind to you. Don't abuse their kindness and their trust. Once it's gone.. it's gone. Trust is like a piece of china.
Once it's broken, you may be able to piece it back together.. but it will never truly be the same. If there is someone you love...be it romantic or otherwise.. let them know. Show them. Don't stop showing them. That lifetime friend.. comes around only in one lifetime...Be good to them. And if it isn't meant to be so... love them enough to let them go. Well Haiku, I've still got you! You my friend... are a friend for a lifetime.
Sincerely
-Aoi Utsuki
 Aoi Utsuki · Thu Sep 01, 2011 @ 04:49pm · 0 Comments |
