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I want to fix this.
I want you to talk to me. I want you to love me.
I want to touch your face, and I want you to do the same.

I want you there, beside me, to hold my hand when I walk down the street.

I want you to talk to me! Just to talk to me. I know I talk to you in the forums, but that isn't enough. Maybe I should send you a lot of PMs. Obviously you aren't going to sign on MSN, and we can't have a private chat and

You know, the more I think about this, the more apparent it becomes to me, that you probably don't love me at all. Or perhaps, you did once, for a brief period of time, then I got annoying.

I'm about to give up, you know? This probably isn't going to work. No matter how many times I tell myself that it is, that it will be all better in a year when I finish study, get a job in America. It won't. It is just going to be the same old story.

I think I find love but it turns out to be nothing.

Maybe my mum is right. I should just go out and get a life. Get real friends who will care about me. Get a real boyfriend who cares about me. Just get a ******** life.

I don't know how hard that is going to be. I think it will be really easy, actually. But I just feel so safe here. Whenever I talk to you, I feel that I can just be myself. I can let go of all of my insecurities and feel myself being beautiful.

We get along so well, but this isn't working. I'm not talking to you, and you aren't talking to me. I'm so afraid that if I ask about serious things that you'll shut off completely, because you don't want to deal with that (sounds even more like a rebound, right?). BUT I CAN'T JUST LIVE IN LIMBO, NOT KNOWING WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. I need a plan, I need a course of action that will show me fruit. It is getting harder and harder everyday, and I'm just too afraid.

I want you to be here. I want to be there, for you!
I want you to talk to me. I just need you to talk to me.

I need it. It is the only thing I have ever wanted. It is overwhelming sometimes. I just want to cry. Bawl my eyes out because I am so confused.

Can you just help me?