I started working on the mixtape collection that defines me as a person. It was upsetting yesterday because I haven't worked on the Hospital time playlist much. I knew what I wanted but listening over and over to see if they flowed was a bit too much. So much angst. Basically, I finished the age 19-22 disc that sums up who I was as an adult living in San Fran semi-independently and before really working through any of my issues. I didn't post the playlist on Instagram, but I did post a picture of the cover art. I'll give you guys the playlist, but remember that this is deeply personal collection.
01. Jenny by The Click Five
02. 21 and Invincible by Something Corporate
03. The Future Freaks Me Out by Motion City Soundtrack
04. 22 by Lily Allen
05. White Houses by Vanessa Carlton
06. Useless by Anarbor
07. Topeka by Ludo
08. Even If She Falls by Blink-182
09. Welcome to My Life by Simple Plan
10. I Could Say by Lily Allen
11. Can't Have It All by Sophie Ellis-Bextor
12. Hammers and Strings (A Lullaby) by Jack's Mannequin
13. My Skin by Natalie Merchant
14. Birthday by Quietdrive
15. The State of Dreaming by Marina & The Diamonds
16. Not Capable of Love by The Ataris
17. Stars by Warpaint
18. The Tower by Vienna Teng
19. Breaking by Anberlin
20. The End. by My Chemical Romance
The titles of all of the discs will play on the ages. The first is titled "22 Flavor Lullaby." It covers mainly how I felt around the age of 21 and 22. I used to use the playlist to stabilize myself when I didn't feel like myself or when I was losing grip with reality. If I felt too much, I could listen to the playlist and lull all of those parts of myself back to sleep or literally fall asleep. The next mixtape will be "2 and 3 Fingers to Blame." Five fingers on a hand and it was the right side attacking the left, which is weaker ( 2 is on the left and 3 on the right overpowering the other side ). Besides that, I was 23 when I was hospitalized and that's the whole point of the cd. It covers the songs that played in the ambulance as I was driven to the various locations and songs that either sent me over the edge or were playing during that brief recovery period. Then third disc is the restart or reboot of self, I think? I might be a love mix making fun of things that I've learned over the years, or something, lol.
Speaking of, still hooking up with that guy friend. It is a nice change to what I've experienced and so long as I'm being treated right I see no reason to stop.
I plan to meet Deveraux for coffee to just see each other again, see if there is any possibility that we could try to get to know one another again Feb 7th. I have a Tinder date Jan 27th. I've been trying to meet with one of my customers to grab a drink and chat but it's getting all tangled and messy. Pffffffshlub. I am supposed to meet with Andrea to start working out together soon. I dunno when. We keep rescheduling.
I'm beginning to feel socialed out, but at the same time I really want to talk with my girlfriends. My girl buddies. My main squaaaaad.
OH! Have you seen the trailer for the Suicide Squad? I'm super sad that they went a weird way for Harley Quinn's origin story :/ like, that goes back to my insane love for Batman Beyond <3 INSANE LOVE. **breathes heavily WANT.
