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I never really used the journal here very much, but it's a fun little snapshot into my past. Past me is pretty irritating, but I was pretty happy then, even if I didn't sound like it.

So here's my snapshot:

I'm 30. That's right, I said it. Ancient by this site's standards. I own a house, my mom died last year, my grandpa the previous year. My big roly poly cat also died a few weeks ago.

The good news is, chances are pretty slim that I'll lose anyone else for a while. Probably.

I've spiraled down into a dark sort of depression where I'm still mostly functional but only because I'm really good at internalizing it. I need a good escape, but one just doesn't exist. I'm making all sorts of financially poor choices as a sort of micro escape since small luxuries can sometimes help with that but this just adds to the stress and anxiety later since then the problem becomes my bank account.

So yeah. Things sound dire but honestly I'm actually better off than my aunt (who was fired in December after over 20 years on the job and still doesn't have a new job), my uncle (who works for barely minimum wage but is a manager and puts in 80 hour weeks...salaried), my dad (homeless, but at least as a job), and my stepdad (has a job but can't afford to keep our family home because he only has one income now that my mom is dead). My younger brother is probably doing the best considering he makes good money right now, doesn't pay rent or bills other than his phone and lives at home with my step dad. But since the house is going to be sold, I dunno what he's going to do.

Anyway, there's my catch up. I shall now return to my regularly scheduled ignoring of this journal for another few years.