I keep thinking in the mindset that it is December 22nd or 24th, but not yet Christmas. I am aware it isn't either of those dates, but my mind still swirls like it is already one of those days and that time has suddenly raced forward without consent. The end of the year approaches and I have a lot on my mind.
End of the year means my playlist should be finished. I think about all the people I have dated in the past two years or three and I freak out that I can't recall two or three, was it two or three... what time was that, whose name was it, what did I do, how was I feeling, have I grown?!
I think about a fresh start. I clean the room to make things neat. There is order, a place to all things... even though they don't really have a place because I let them roam and be wild. Be still I tell them. Be still and have a place. Let me think!
I write letters aloud to myself, to other people, to my past, and when I don't remember why I'm writing, I sing. I don't usually sing. It's a bit creepy to be so girly aloud.
I'm letting my nerves in.
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
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