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Everything has stabilized now.... but just how much does any of this matter to him? Maybe the only reason why he even wanted to make up with me was because he still wanted to be able to come over and spend time with my roommates. I don't want to believe that, but my anxiety makes me wonder about it.... I mean, if he really cared about me, wouldn't he interact with me more? Why can't I break out of this rut... no matter what I do or say, it feels like I'm just so... irrelevant. Why does none of our past together matter in any way anymore? Was I just too late? It hurts thinking about how much he used to care about me, and now he won't even answer a simple message... even after all we've been through, he's not even willing to give me that much attention... I feel like such a failure as a human being. Why do I always end up here? Is the current situation my fault? It has to be. Otherwise he wouldn't treat me this way... right?
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