I was sitting upon the front steps of the abandoned building I called "home". Tears spilling down my face. As if I ever had a real home I thought to myself. Of course I had a home with a family but everone is gone now.bI shivered for it was cold in the empty building with nothing but a dirty blanket to keep me warm. I stood and walked into the empty building. It was going to be my new home. The orphanage tried to give me a home but I couldn't be with my brother.
The day slowly succumbing into the darkness we call night I sat on the hard floor shivering once more. What have I done wrong? For all this to happen to me... To lose my mother at birth then my father only two years ago was hard enough but then to- I went into a certain familiar histeria. It was difficult to breath over my shivers and the tears that continually dripped down my face. The hysteria was familiar because I had been remembering my past a lot and crying myself to sleep each night.
Going into the empty building reminded me of myself. Empty and hollow like my memory. Cold and desolate like my heart. My cries seemed to echoe in the emptiness. Being alone...yes alone. Each echo reminded me of all the tradgedies and the more to come. What good was being alive and living your life if you had no one to spent it with. I had finally gotten out of my hysteria. That's when I realized I did have a home for darkness was my home.
I felt as though I was ripped apart with no hope being sewn back together. The pain was there and would never be healed not now or later. I wondered if there was any way out of this- this- torture. How long could I survive here with no food and barely any water. Would I die? How would I spend the majority of my life? Alone that's all I ever will be ,alone. I lay there on the cold floor of the abandoned building until I finally cried myself to sleep. Another nightmare filled sleep. I awoke screaming in the middle of the night, but it didn't matter for there was no one close enough to hear.
When I awoke I realized something. If the nightmare was about my life then my life was a nightmare. Living in this world for me always has and always will be a living nightmare.
After sitting around for hours on end I sat there staring blankly ahead in hunger and pain I turned my head to see the moon high in the sky. The stars where shining bright. I wondered what was out there in the emptiness. I wandered around a bit and eventually decided to go outside. I was wary but it didn't matter. I found someone who was willing to give me food his name was John(how's this?). He inquired what my name was so I simply told him Molly. That was all I had of my parents. My name I didn't know my last name so it was an honest answer.
I thanked him for the food and took my leave. He watched me walk away. I was only 16 now. I had been in that hole they called an orphanage for 8 years. It was about time that I finally left it. Now I was on my own ,but I had always been alone. He could see that i was not your average 16 year old girl and I knew why he gave me the food. He felt sorry for me. Even though he doesnt know where I stay or that I have no family he knows that i'm different.
I was walking back to the abandoned building when I heard whispers from behind. The sky was beginning to darken and I knew the dangers but so what if something where to happen to me. No one would care because no one knew I existed. Through the whispers I also heard footsteps closing in on me. My hearbeat raced and this suprised me. For my hearts beat never raced beacause I hadn't felt love in a long time. I knew it was there because it was beating a slow steady beat like a timer and as soon as done the torture would end. Returning to reality and the upcoming danger I fastened my walk to a slight jog.
At the sight of two men behind me, I became anxious and began to run. I saw another man at the end of the alley and realized that they were going to trap me. I turned into the nearest doorway and ran up the stairway. I made it to the third story ,but turned the wrong way and ended up in a strange room.
They had me. I backed away from the men and tried not to look at their faces. I backed away and saw a window. I reacted without thinking and jumped out it. One of the men attempted to grab my leg causing me to go head first.
I hit the ground and felt an overwhelming pain in my head and right arm. I tried to get up ,but just couldn't find the strength to. Then I lay there as if lifeless. Suddenly I was being poked by something. Could it be a doctor? Then I heard a gruff voice, "Too damaged we can't do anything let's run!" Suddenly the sound of tires screeching to a hault came to my ears. I heard quick foot steps coming towards me and away from me at the same time.
Next thing I new I was in a room. The bed I was laying on was comfortable so it most definetly wasn't a hospital. Then a voice came,"She has a sprained arm and her skullis badly damaged. You know we really should take her to the hospital. We have better care facilaties for her than your house." Another softer voice whispered ,"No, she's fine." The other man said, "If this is how you want it than so be it. But if anything is to happen to her, you are completely and fullly responsible. Just make sure she lays in bed for the rest of the week. Being in a koma gave her time to heal."
"Yes I suppose so, don't worry Gregory, she'll be fine remember. I am qualified."said the other man. Gregory replied,"Yes John I suppose you are ,well I'll just leave her with you then ,goodbye." Then the door shut.
I slightly opened my eyes to see I was in what seemed to be a very large room in a very large apartment. And I was laying on what felt and looked like white silk bedding. But my blood was stained on it. JOHN!!!! That's where I heard that name from.
That was the name of the man who gave me the food. He must have been driving away from the place to go home and saw me on the road. Why would he take care of me. Surely he didn't pitty me that much? I tried to sit up and felt faint and fell back down. John came running over to my side.
He told me to rest and explained what happened even though I already knew. I just couldn't grasp everything so suddenly because I was drowsy and didn't feel well. Surely I would be fine soon. I didn't have a home and I wasn't about to take someone's pitty as a home. As I lay there upon the tainted silk bed I thought of ways to get out of here. I could not become attached to living so comfortably.
Not when I know that I have to go back to that wretched building. Using all of my strength i arose once more and used my hands to support my now useless body. John had now gone into the the large kitchen. I knew that standing behind the large counter he would never be able to see me escape. I reached for the little bottle of medication on top of the bedside counter. I forced myself up and trudged through the room. Each movement set a shot of pain through me but I had to go. I refused to accept someones pitty for I had learned to be..alone. Alone i thought to myself, when I would go back, I would have no one there waiting for me.
The thought was too much for me too handle and everything darkened. I fell back but instead of hitting the cold hard ground like the first time someone caught me. I tried to open my eyes to see but could not. He picked me up and carried me back to the room. His arms where strong and they supported me well, but what was this feeling? Could it possibly be happiness? No it wasnt possible I've told myself so many times I wouldn't be happy unless someone...loved me. And I refused for anyone to love me.
My thoughts disturbed by the shocking pain that ran through me as he layed me upon the bed. He reached back pulling a chair. I heard him sit down and wondered why he cared so much. I wasn't up for so much thought and I eventually drifted off into a ,for once in a long time, nightmareless sleep.
There actually was a dream. No emptiness like there had been before, no nightmare that had filled my nights, nothing that reminded me of my earlier life. For some reason I thought of him. I thought of John and I felt...ok in my dream. I don't know why. I couldn't possibly love him...could I?
No I couldn't. I woke up and looked around. I looked at the clock that claimed it was 2 in the morning. It couldn't possibly be 2! I was only laying there thinking for a moment. Then I looked to see him sitting there sleeping. He looked like he was happy but there was something uneasy about it.
Maybe I would stay for just a little while longer. Then I finished my sleep. When I woke it was too the rising sun and the clammer of pots and pans and the smell of food. Mmmmmmm. Delicious food. I didn't want to faint and I slowly made my way around the corner.
He turned around and smiled at me. This time I almost hit the ground, but he caught me. I didn't feel bad when I stumbled I felt happy. Why did I stumble?
He said I should lay down on the bed I shook my head so he carried me to the couch instead. I looked around taking in the sight of his living room. He abviously had a lot of money so why did he even bothere with someone like me?
He brought me some food to eat and I ate it. I didn't want to take his pitty ... ,but the food was amazing smelling and it was even more amazing tasting. He watched me as I ate. He smiled and it was the most brilliant smile I have ever seen. It gleamed and it felt like the darkness was gone. "I hope you are enjoying your stay here." I nodded
"Should I call you family?" I half choked on the food in my mouth. "M- my family? Right ,my family ,umm no. I don't think they've noticed i'm gone." My family...was gone.
He noticed the change in my mood and he sat closer and put his arm around me. I looked up and he was watching me intently. "Molly my door is always open just stop by." I couldn't speak. I understood why he gave me the food and why he is taking care of my injuries. It was pitty but that was over the top. I noticed that he was waiting for my response so I nodded. With him sitting so close to me I could finally study him more carefully. He was tall with a nice build. His eyes a beautiful dark brown and his smile.. oh his smile. Thats when I realized my heart beat racing once more and I wondered why. I am no longer in any danger so why?
We had spent so much great time together we went all over once my wrap around my head was gone ,but I still stayed. Because I still got extremely faint sometimes and he didn't get a call and well, I didn't want to leave.
We spent my 17 birthday together. He was lucky. He had gone to a great school top of his class and he skipped from junior high to high school and he ended up gratuating college at the age of 18 and now he was about 19. I barely went to school. The education facilaties we received at the orphanage were extremely poor and I was highly over my grade level for orphanage standards. I didn't know what being in a real school would be like and I never would know.
On weekends I would go to the library and read books. I knew I was accelerated ,but I didn't think I was accelerated in a real school average grade level. That was until John told me that I was at the brain of an average 18 year old. He taught me too.
But now it's over I'm leaving today. Thinking to myself I didn't realize that the taxi John had called for me had arrived. He had waited for someone to call for me ,but no one ever did. So I had to leave and go back to my home. He obviously knew that I was homeless ,but he didn't know that I was alone.
We said our goodbyes and he handed me a bag saying it was a gift. I looked inside to a small purse and some clothes. I thanked him and he pulled me close and gave me a huge hug. I blushed and got into the taxi. He closed the door and the taxi driver asked me where to. And I told him.
John turned back and as we drove away he called out to me, "Truthfully! I hoped that no one would call for you! But I'm moving! I enrolled you in to Burkley! They know how smart you are! You start this year!" I nearly cried my heart out. I wanted to call back to him, but he couldn't hear and the driver didn't appreciate the noise I was making.
When we arrived I got out and thanked the driver for the ride. I looked in the bag again and didn't realize how much clothes he had given me. And I looked at the purse. Then I looked in it. There was an note from Burkley saying that I was enrolled with them. And there was another note with directions to a driving school. And yet another with directions to a bank. And the final note. I read it slowly.
"Dear Molly,
I know that you probably don't care about me but I care about you. Take care of yourself. I want you to do your best at Burkley. I am moving and I won't see you. I'm sorry. Go to the bank and say that John told you to go there and give them the white envelope. The red one is for you.
,From someone who cares"
So I stared at the red envelope and stared and stared. I couldn't handle opening it. I just went on with my day just crying. Why did every one I care about have to leave. Now I was going to change and go take the drivers test. John had taught me how to drive and so I was going to make him proud and drive.
I put on some of the clothes he had given me and went to take the test. They said they had my information and that I did extremely well. So I passed my test and I had a drivers license. When I was done with that I went to my "home" and cried myself to sleep.
In the following morning I went to the bank. They stared at me when they opened the envelope. They asked for identification so I handed them my drivers license. They took me to the back to get what was in the bank. I figured it was enough money for food for the week.
The women who kept the vault key told me, "Do you uderstand that he has given you over 4,000 dollars in cash, a car ,and an apartment?"
I couldn't help but gasp. They took me out back to show me a red 98 ferrari. I couldn't believe it. They handed me a suit case full of money and then they handed me the keys to the ferrari. I graciously took it and thanked them with tears.
In the dash board there was the certificates and paper work for the car and instructions to the apartment and an envelope for the owner of the apartment complex.
I followed the instructions to the apartments. I nearly cried when I got there. I asked if John was around and everyone said he had moved. Then I handed the owner the envelope and he handed me some keys. I went to the apartment and realized it was his old apartment. In there there was a note saying,
"I leave this all for you"
He did this all for me I couldn't believe it the closet didn't have his clothes, it had clothes for me. Then I finally looked in the red envelope to find pictures of us together. That's when I broke down. I cried in a hysteria.
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