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I hate not being able to open up to many people. I trust all my friends and family but I just can not open up to people. I have so many secrets that very few people know and some that absolutely nobody knows. Almost all my life has been a secret and barely anyone knows any of it. I am just tired of it. At some point this week I felt like every one has been just getting close to hurt me in the long run. There is only two people in this world that has not hurt me and they are the closest to me. Thoughs people are my Papa and my Nana, what sucks is that I don't know when but they are going to die sooner than anyone I have ever gotten close to. I have been getting hurt emotionally, mentally, and physically sense I was about two years old. I'm pretty sure that I desevred everything. I will never really know for sure. All I know is that my actual family(blood family) would never lay a hand on me. I thank them for that.

I have so many things to thank. I have friends that I can mostly trust with everything. I have family and friends that love and care for me. I love and care for all my friends and family, I would not want to lose any of them. I have so many people I should say sorry to. So many people that... i don't know anymore.