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This is so screwed up... i sit here.... crying.... weeping... why? I cant forget him.... why cant i give up on him... i know somethings coming... i dont know what it is but i want it now. Pain is all ive ever lived on, now.. im happy... i feel so numb. So emotionless, i closed my heart to be happy? What the hell, that souldnt be right. my true beauty, true feelings, true inner power only surfaces when im depressed. When im who i really am. Hopelessly racing after love, tripping and stumbling over obstacles of pain and depression.I... i almost want to go back to that... i dont know whats up with me... but i just need some one to talk to it about... no ones here... im waiting for someone to finally come.... friend or foe, i just need someone.